Pope Declares: Worship God not technology

Pope: Worship God not technology

Today the Pope urged the faithful to worship God, not technology.

But he was initially only heard by about two hundred faithful in a church in Italy. Sadly no one outside heard him as he was not televised, podcast, nor on the radio. The press were advised to stay home. The guards with guns were all disarmed and the bulletproof glass was removed from the vehicle that once carried the pontiff around town. Word of mouth, however, is spreading fast.

Now he will ride on an ass fed only organic food stuffs.

Forcing a call of a new, green world, environmentalists and minimalists across the globe are urging a call to abandon technology and return to the natural world.

Of course, this news was also discovered only because the press saw these tech-no-go'ers standing outside speaking to cars and people passing by, as they no longer use blogs and even cell phones to display their dismay over the direction the world is turning.

Ebay has been flooded with thousands of discarded laptops, ipods, digital cameras, and countless other high tech nic nacs, but apparently no one is bidding on these items as the anti-tech joiner spirit catches wind in the sails of ebay-philes everywhere.

Pilots have walked off the job, gps devices strangely stopped working, and several satellites have fallen from the sky, being mistook for shooting stars and moreover signs of the end times forwarned by the Pope and other religious leaders across the globe.

The Pope has called for an investigation into photosynthesis to determine whether this act of nature is in fact technological or divine.

Keep breathing till the results come out. And since the scientists were ordered by the pope to use ancient tools for calculating, the determination will take 412 years to conclude.

The Amish had no comment as they have yet to hear of the Popes call against technology, but it may be safe to assume they would text message each other like mad if that is how they communicated. Though the message would likely read, 'Yeah, verily it has come to pass that the reduction of technology use is upon us'.

Which is similar to the message 'Y,VihCtPttroTuiUu'.

Which surely has the Lord above LHAO!!!

Well, best wishes to you all and please remember to be nice to each other, live the golden rule, and regardless of how techno savvy you are, have a Happy New Year.



Popular Posts